So who wants to come and see The BFG with me next year?
I’ll admit I had my doubts when I heard there was going to be a new movie version of Roald Dahl’s book. I even seem to vaguely remember threatening Steven Spielberg with – if not exactly violence, then certainly a strongly worded letter, if he messed up one of my favourite stories of all time.
Then I heard that the brilliant Mark Rylance had been cast as the BFG, and I felt a bit better. And now that the first teaser trailer’s been released, I could not be more excited.
The BFG was my absolute favourite book growing up, and when I re-read it recently, it brought back all kinds of happy memories, of belly poppers, snozzcumbers and gobblefunking around with words. The story of a lonely little girl and the kind-hearted giant who kidnaps her never fails to make me smile, even if it is accompanied by quite a lot of other children being eaten alive. But hey, you can’t have everything.
So I thought it was only right to share a few of the valuable life lessons I learnt from The BFG, starting with…
- If in doubt, ask The Queen. Because she can solve anything.
- Frobscottle is the best drink in the world: ‘”Whenever I is feeling a bit scrotty,” the BFG said, “a few gollops of frobscottle is always making me hopscotchy again.”‘
- Turkish people taste of turkey, people from Panama of hats, Swedes of sweet and sour, and people from Wales taste like fish.
- Humans are the only animals that kill our own kind: ‘”Even poisnowse snakes is never killing each other,” the BFG said. “Nor is the most fearsome creatures like tigers and rhinostossterisses. None of them is ever killing their own kind… But human beans is squishing each other all the time… They is shootling guns and going up in aerioplanes to drop their bombs on each other’s heads every week. Human beans is always killing other human beans.”‘
- Nicholas Nickleby (by Dahl’s Chickens) is a scrumdiddlyumptious story.
- Always go to bed before the witching hour, or who knows what you might encounter: ‘The witching hour, somebody had once whispered to her, was a special moment in the middle of the night when every child and every grown-up was in a deep deep sleep, and all the dark things came out from hiding and had the world all to themselves.’
- Two wrongs don’t make a right. And two rights don’t make a left.
- Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. (If you don’t know what whizzpopping is, think brussels sprouts…)
- Just because you don’t know a lot of big words doesn’t mean you’re stupid; you might end up saving the world: ‘I know exactly what words I am wanting to say, but somehow or other they is always getting squiff-squiddled around.’
- The human bean is not a vegetable.
So there we have it.
What was your favourite book growing up?