Happy Thanksgiving to any readers in the States. Or indeed not in the States – you don’t have to be American to stop every now and again to reflect on the things you’re thankful for.
But I’m always doing that; it’s kind of the whole point of this blog. And I’m slightly worried that you’re all starting to think I’m one of those people who’s constantly, irritatingly happy – so to dispel that myth, and because I like to be different, I’m going to take this one day to talk about all the things that drive me nuts.
Starting with the biggie – chewing gum. I don’t get chewing gum as an idea; it’s sort of food, but not really, and when you’re finished with it you have to find somewhere to get rid of it. And for some reason, a lot of people find it impossible to chew it quietly, or with their mouths closed. Why is that? Does it taste better that way? Personally I’ve never found gum tastes of much at all but maybe I’ve been doing it wrong.
People who write things like, ‘Feeling blue’ on Facebook. I’ve no problem with that in itself, everyone’s entitled to write what they like. But don’t write that you’re feeling blue and then when people ask what’s wrong, say ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ If you don’t want to talk about it, don’t talk about it.
Spelling mistakes where there shouldn’t be. I know I can be quite fussy about this, and have in the past been known to reject guys on dating sites because of a few misplaced apostrophes. But the thing that really bothers me is mistakes that should have been picked up, like on adverts or posters. Or CVs – I do a lot of recruitment at work and can’t forgive errors on job applications. That’s what spell check’s for. And if you can’t be bothered to put the effort in on your application, why should I hire you?
The way whenever I go to a gig I end up standing behind either the tallest man in the world, or a couple who can’t keep their hands off each other. The last gig I went to, I ended up behind a tall couple, which was just beyond a joke, really.
Andrew Castle. For those who don’t know, Andrew Castle is a former tennis player turned TV presenter, who now commentates on tennis matches. And I can’t stand him, to the point where any time he opens his mouth I assume he’s talking rubbish, whether he is or not. From discussing this with colleagues, it seems everyone has someone they irrationally hate. Have a think about it and you’ll probably find you’ve got one too. Chances are, you always refer to them by their full name, for some reason. Sorry, Andrew Castle.
Slow people. There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to get somewhere when you’ve got someone wandering along in front of you. Every time you try and get round them they veer across and get in your way again. And then they stop dead to have a look around and you run right into them. And then you end up apologising to them, because you’re British and that’s what you do.
And finally – well, until next Thanksgiving anyway – charity collectors who use emotional blackmail. For the most part, I have no issue with these guys, although I’m still not about to hand over my bank account details to a stranger in the street. But what I really hate is when they try and guilt me into it. I once got caught by a guy who worked for one of the environmental charities. When I told him I wasn’t giving him any money, he accused me of not caring about the planet, which funnily enough, didn’t make me change my mind. Unfortunately the person I was meeting was running late, so the charity guy and I then ended up standing there for about ten minutes glaring at each other in hostile silence until they arrived.
There. That feels better.
And now, just in case you think I’ve been too grumpy, here’s a picture of two otters who love each other.
Happy Thanksgiving 🙂