Strictly fabulous, dahling

I’d like to preface this post by stating for the record that I do have a life, and occasionally I even leave the house at the weekend.

Now that’s out the way, time for another TV-related post.

As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t watch Big Brother, Britain’s Got Talent or even X Factor any more, and literally can’t think of anything worse than putting myself through an episode of I’m a Celebrity, no matter how much I love Ant and Dec. So my only vice when it comes to reality TV these days is Strictly Come Dancing (for any readers in the States, I believe it’s what you call Dancing with the Stars). Now, just to be clear, I can’t dance, so I’m in no position to judge anyone. My limit is recognising the different styles (my favourite’s the tango; I love a bit of drama) and I can generally tell if someone’s completely hopeless, although not always.

There are a lot of things about Strictly that aren’t so good. Sir Bruce Forsyth, for instance – I know the man’s a TV legend but it’s really time he retired; when you can’t read an autocue any more, and people are laughing more at your unintentional jokes than your real ones, it’s probably time to give up. And I definitely don’t need to hear him talking about twerking, thank you. Then there’s Tess Daly and her horrible dresses, and Craig Revel Horwood and his unnecessary bitchiness (and irritating drawl – ‘that was a total disaaaahster, daaaaahling’). And let’s not forget the almost comically bad singers – I don’t get why the BBC can’t find someone decent after all these years. Anyone know? Are they being blackmailed?

The celebrities this year are the usual mix of soap stars (Natalie Gumede, Ashley Taylor Dawson), people-who-used-to-be-famous (Fiona Fullerton, Tony Jacklin), people-who’ve-never-really-been-that-famous (Abbey Clancey, Dave Myers) and finally, the all-important why-are-they-doing-this group (Deborah Meadon, Julien Macdonald).

Even though I don’t know who most of these people are, and find a lot of them really irritating and can’t wait for them to be voted off, I love Strictly. Partly it’s the fun of watching someone who can’t dance at all to begin with start to get good. Partly it’s the pretty dresses – I’m not a girly girl at all when it comes to fashion but I can’t imagine there are many ladies who’d pass up the opportunity to get glammed up in one of the Strictly dresses once in a while (no, not Tess’s, obviously). Partly it’s being able to pretend I know something about dancing by nodding wisely and saying stuff like ‘her kicks and flicks needed to be sharper’ and ‘he’s got zero hip action’.

And finally… I think I might have referred in an earlier post to my tiny crush on Artem Chigvintsev, and I’m pleased to confirm that despite a terrifying spray tan, he’s just as lovely as ever – not least because he got his chest out in week 1 šŸ˜‰ Apparently his partner this year is quite good, although I can’t really say I noticed what she was doing… And even if Artem does get kicked out early on, there’s still plenty of others to admire: James Jordan, Pasha Kovalev, new boy Aljaž SkorjanecĀ and even Brendan Cole (sorry Anton, you don’t quite make the grade). They easily make it worth listening to Bruce and his jokes. Well, almost.

Speaking of attractive gentlemen, I just switched channel and discovered Pirates of the Caribbean on BBC3. Bonus! The rum’s still gone, though…

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